Worldly Standards

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. - Proverbs 31:30

I have been bombarded left and right lately with the subject of "beauty".  

A few weeks ago, Adam and I were watching "Celebrity Plastic Surgery:  Gone to Far?"  I must say, as a 25, 26 (still not use to that one!) woman...I look in the mirror and find flaws.  I could list them for you, but suffice it to say...the list is long.  I have been very adamant about one procedure...and I have been second guessing myself since I saw the previous mentioned documentary.  What am I teaching my children by picking myself a part?  Will that behavior begin to show itself in my girls?  I think many times we don't realize exactly what our children absorb!  Just think about when you hear your child repeat something you have said.  Now...look at how you speak to your child.  Doesn't it closely resemble what you heard YOUR mother say to you?

About a year ago I tuned into the first episode of Toddler's & Tiara's.  Long story short...I watched that 1 episode...and haven't watched it...(until tonight that is).  I was so disgusted at the first episode...I was literally seething with anger.  

I don't know what made me decide to re-watch the first season tonight.  Boredom while waiting for the hubby to come home perhaps?  :)  My feelings haven't changed...as a matter of fact, if anything, my feelings are even stronger.

I will not generalize and say that ALL child beauty pageants are wrong.  Nor will I say beauty pageants are wrong in general.  In fact a WONDERFUL girl I know, Mrs. Lyndsee Hargett, will be competing in the Mrs. Oklahoma pageant in just a few short weeks!  And...she is by far the sweetest, humblest, most caring person I know...so I am confident she is going to ROCK IT!  (LOVE YA GIRL!!)

I also can see the "Pro's" of beauty pageants.  Let me break 'em down for ya':

• Promoting confidence.  When done properly...pageants can be a great source of self-confidence!  I don't know about you...but it has to take SOME level of confidence to put yourself in front of a firing squad!!!
• People skills.  
• Earning money for scholarships, etc.

 However, the common trend I have been seeing in these beauty pageants is how disappointed the PARENTS are that their children didn't "win".  I don't think they realize how just their obvious disappointment (no words spoken) can make the child feel like somehow THEY failed.  

The "cons" seem to far outweigh the pro's when you really look at it:

• We are teaching these girls that outer beauty is what matters.  Spray tans, "flippers" (false teeth that actually resemble those fake "vampire teeth" except they are perfectly white and perfectly straight), acrylic nails, heavy makeup, hours doing hair, massive amounts of hairspray...etc, are common place in childhood beauty pageants.  I tend to think that those toothless grins are quite charming...and no child should have to inhale the insane quantities of fumes from hairspray...have their beautiful, CHILDHOOD skin plastered with makeup just to be "perfect"
• Self-esteem can actually be hurt when they are constantly being compared to other people and made to feel like they don't measure up.  
• You take away their being able to just be a KID!  Whatever happened to playing dress-up without the pressure of having to "win".

As a mother of 2 girls and a step mom to a little girl...I am appalled.  Growing up is a struggle in and of itself.  Kids face enough criticism from their peers alone...without us thrusting them into a competitive world of judging based on outward appearances.  I am under no grand illusions that people will never judge my children based on what they look like.  I have no delusions that my children will not do what they need to do to make themselves "acceptable" by the worlds standards on the outside.  For goodness sakes, I wear makeup, do my hair, and try to dress nicely when out in public myself.  But the lesson I want MY children to learn is that despite what they look like on the outside...it is who they are INSIDE that matters the most.  You can be "perfection" on the outside...but it won't get you very far if its not backed by a heart of gold.  Eventually, looks fade.  You will never meet everyones expectations of beauty...because after all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder...right?

I can't imagine being a mother who doesn't look at my child and see perfection right away.  Even when Addyson's hair is a tangled mess, she has food on her face, and her clothes are messy from that mud puddle she was jumping in...I see absolute perfection.  I often wonder if the drive to have a "perfect" child is really just a compensation for the inadequacy a mother felt as a child.  In the end, I don't know the hearts and the minds of the parents who choose to have their child in every little contest/pageant.  I only have to answer for myself.  

In case anyones wondering...if any of my children expressed an interest on their own to do something of that nature...I would support them 110%.  Even if they lose.